It used to be the case that the only awards ceremonies one heard about were the Nobel Peace Prize, Oscars, Booker, or Turner prize. But that was then. Now we have hundreds of awards for everything and everyone.

These events are nearly as common place as government enquiries. There are awards for best gentlemen’s outfitters, best salesman at a gentlemen’s outfitters and probably one for best tape measure too. Best supermarket car park trolley stacker and best financial director of a clearing bank.

Don’t get me wrong, I am seriously in favour of boosting people’s self esteem but there are limits. Yet every time I switch on Radio 4, there is mention of some new award.

And the problem is each time there is a winner, there is a speech and each time that happens the same two sentiments are bandied about: On behalf of the team/my team/your team but mine really I just want to thank, without whom. And then…Can I just say that I have worked in this business, in this industry for 4 years now Since when did bacon sandwich making or unblocking toilets become an industry?
But hold on, I’ve just had a call saying I am on the short list for most infrequent and unreliable blog writing ever. Wonderful. I must remember to mention my team…well I want to say I could never have achieved this without Ted or for that matter Norman the Doorman and Runty and Doreen on Patmos……

But I digress because I’ve also just heard on Radio 4 that there is to be an award for Best Government Enquiry…..

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